I've always been mrs flip top head.... the ability to demolish food in seconds... gone in 60 seconds
As part of the me changing my life I'm attempting to teach myself to how to eat more slowely.
Eating slowly helps you know when you are full.. it can take calories off of what you would normally feast on - so they say... I'm prepared to try and so far my attempt, goes like this.
Mouth full of food, put fork down, 5 slow chews, swallow, drink water....and repeat
Its easier with hot food like soup to take your time.... harder with other foods... however I've managed to increase my lunch time eating from 5 mins - 20mins...
I would say there are two main reasons why I eat quickly they are.....
1. If I dont eat snacks I'm starving by the time lunch and dinner come - and turn into a ravonous wolf
2. As a kid I was always in hurry to want to get down from the table and watch something on TV
The thing is - can I actually suceed in this changing not only what I eat but how I eat it?
Wednesday 28 January 2009
Tuesday 27 January 2009
Happy Week
... or not so happy week, Liverpool are playing at home, I'm on the rag..... after a week of raging PMT and mad behavior.... the dreaded red finally arrived ... I am now two days in....
I have wanted to eat more this month then last month..I dont know why... but I haven't....
I feel that the weight I have lost already has already had an affect on my period. This month albeit two days late, it doesn't seem as painful, as spiteful, as mean and and touch wood I haven't wanted to puke up.
As with pmt week, I am trying to maintain my food as per normal and also with the exercise... it was scaled down to a low impact 30 min walk on the treadmill last night and followed today by a 45 mins dancing session.
I figure if I am going to sit and listen to music I like I might as well get up and shift my booty around the bed room at the same time.... although I am still worried about agitating my monthlies to turn demonic by too much jumping up and down I am determined that my monthly cycle will not stop me from attempting to burn some more calories - which I need to do.
For years I used these two weeks - PMT week and Red week as an excuse to EAT... And whilst it is proven that you eat more during this time - it is all about control.. it is also about recognising the symptoms of this terrible condition (lol) early enough to identify why you feel so hungry...and to also make a healthier decision about what you are going to put into your mouth if anything
I feel quite sad for all the times I have let this win, let allow myself to consume food , laze about and feel sorry for myself... and whilst I'm sure I will always have bad periods and bad PMT the fact is I am no longer willing to let it rule my life, stomach or my weight any more and I hope that by making healthier changes to my life this will improve my painful periods in the future.
I have wanted to eat more this month then last month..I dont know why... but I haven't....
I feel that the weight I have lost already has already had an affect on my period. This month albeit two days late, it doesn't seem as painful, as spiteful, as mean and and touch wood I haven't wanted to puke up.
As with pmt week, I am trying to maintain my food as per normal and also with the exercise... it was scaled down to a low impact 30 min walk on the treadmill last night and followed today by a 45 mins dancing session.
I figure if I am going to sit and listen to music I like I might as well get up and shift my booty around the bed room at the same time.... although I am still worried about agitating my monthlies to turn demonic by too much jumping up and down I am determined that my monthly cycle will not stop me from attempting to burn some more calories - which I need to do.
For years I used these two weeks - PMT week and Red week as an excuse to EAT... And whilst it is proven that you eat more during this time - it is all about control.. it is also about recognising the symptoms of this terrible condition (lol) early enough to identify why you feel so hungry...and to also make a healthier decision about what you are going to put into your mouth if anything
I feel quite sad for all the times I have let this win, let allow myself to consume food , laze about and feel sorry for myself... and whilst I'm sure I will always have bad periods and bad PMT the fact is I am no longer willing to let it rule my life, stomach or my weight any more and I hope that by making healthier changes to my life this will improve my painful periods in the future.
Monday 26 January 2009
My journey....
This is me ages 18 - size 24
This is me at size 28 aged - 20
aged 22 size 32
Age 28 size 22/24
Me aged 32 at size 22 - April 08
November/Dec 2008
Jan 09
Jan 09
Feb 09
March 09
April 09
May 09
June 2009
July 2009
August 09
The Seven Habits:
The Seven Habits I must learn:
 | Filling in Food Diary | Every day - Completed |
 | Drink water | 6 glasses a day - every day Completed |
 | 5 A Day | Five fruit and veg a day - every day Completed |
 | Portion control | Weigh everything accurately - every day - Completed |
 | Love Your Body | 5-10 minutes every day (Days 1 and 2 - 30mins) Completed |
 | Aerobic exercise | 30 minutes a day 5 times a week - Completed |
 | Learning | Learn about food/healthy living - 1 per day, 5 days - Ongoing |
The goals
The plan is to loose the weight in 10 kilo portions
These are the deadlines for each 10 kilos
Start date 15th December : weighed approximatly 117 kgs
16th Feb - 107 kilos - gift to self - paco rabane 1 million
20 March - 97 kilos - gift to self - jogger
15th june - 87 kilos - gift to self - Step and step dvd
24th August - 77 kilos - gift to self -nails
26th October - 67 kilos - gift to self -facial
4th Jan 2010 - *57 kilos* Target -GIFT TO SELF the works - hair cut, new clothes, holiday
These are the deadlines for each 10 kilos
Start date 15th December : weighed approximatly 117 kgs
16th Feb - 107 kilos - gift to self - paco rabane 1 million
20 March - 97 kilos - gift to self - jogger
15th june - 87 kilos - gift to self - Step and step dvd
24th August - 77 kilos - gift to self -nails
26th October - 67 kilos - gift to self -facial
4th Jan 2010 - *57 kilos* Target -GIFT TO SELF the works - hair cut, new clothes, holiday
Friday 23 January 2009
Against all odds
I'm proud of myself... I have survived the last week despite many attempts from various avenues to tempt me into eating crap. I have been removed from my comfort zone, away from home and put into close contact with bad food and drink!
It started last Friday, I was going up to Scotland for a friends 40 birthday.. on Friday I overdosed on carbs...., toast for breakfast, followed by a bagel, followed by pasta although all healthy options - still way to many carbs- this made me crave more food.... by the time I got the airport I was hungry again and there was not a leaf of lettuce in sight.
Airport shops are terrible, if you want more bread, crisps, chocolate they are excellant - if you want to eat healthy - you could be in trouble..
I finally settled on some 'you are what you eat' mixed nuts... and tuna and mayo sandwich on brown bread - more carbs.. but at least this was reasonably healthy and low in fat.....
Arriving at my friends house she decided to cook cauliflower cheese.... had1 and half of those too -- my head was disgusted with myself.. It was a very poor day for eating - my first in 4 weeks....
I resolved that Saturday would be better and it was... three meals - all healthy.. and decent snacks... Saturday night was the party.... I knew that by drinking in would only give myself more useless calories and potentially wreck the last months hard work but eating for six million in hangover mode the next day...
So I had my first drink, followed by a bottle of water followed by dinner... I then had two more drinks (vodka and tonic) followed by more water... I had one more V&T and then stuck to water all night....
So let me tell you about dinner - The idea I had to over come the potential food issues was great - if i could I manage to get over feeling stupid and a freak for doing it... Prior to the party I had asked the host what would be on the buffet and I was told fried foods... Not good for my lifestyle. So I did something I have never done before - I took my own food with me. I picked up a pasta bowl.. having checked the label for its calories and fat I was satisfied this would be better than munching on a chicken nugget and a deep fried mars bars...
So the result was I just helped myself to salad from the buffet and added my own pasta.. I felt like a freak but I also felt proud of myself for making and choosing a healthy decision.
The morning after the night before whilst I would have normally tucked into a fry up, I chose a healthier option and continued making those choice through out the day. I managed to survive the weekend with some healthy choices and I am very proud of that.
Monday was the official start of PMT week - a potential to just eat and eat and eat crap!
I exercised a lot at the start of the week knowing by the time my period starts I wont be able to... I have eaten very healthy all week! But I have gain weight! This is a pisser but I am not freaking out by this because I know its to do with my pmt.... but grrrr - I've felt more of an urge to mame and kill then to eat - good for me not so so for others
I came across my first saboteur as well - I had heard of their existence but I met a real life one one in the guise of a family member... a size 8 skinny minnie who declared ' but I like you the way you are' ....my reply to that was' well I don't because its going to kill me'... she didn't say another word..
I don't know how a size 8 person could be intimidated by a size 22 person loosing weight - but I know that I am going to come across some saboteur's and I will just have to deal with them as and when I come across them...
I'm going for a walk/run/jog/ when get home and maybe do some yoga - but hell its been a tricky last seven days but I am so proud of myself for not eating the entire contents of my fridge!
It started last Friday, I was going up to Scotland for a friends 40 birthday.. on Friday I overdosed on carbs...., toast for breakfast, followed by a bagel, followed by pasta although all healthy options - still way to many carbs- this made me crave more food.... by the time I got the airport I was hungry again and there was not a leaf of lettuce in sight.
Airport shops are terrible, if you want more bread, crisps, chocolate they are excellant - if you want to eat healthy - you could be in trouble..
I finally settled on some 'you are what you eat' mixed nuts... and tuna and mayo sandwich on brown bread - more carbs.. but at least this was reasonably healthy and low in fat.....
Arriving at my friends house she decided to cook cauliflower cheese.... had1 and half of those too -- my head was disgusted with myself.. It was a very poor day for eating - my first in 4 weeks....
I resolved that Saturday would be better and it was... three meals - all healthy.. and decent snacks... Saturday night was the party.... I knew that by drinking in would only give myself more useless calories and potentially wreck the last months hard work but eating for six million in hangover mode the next day...
So I had my first drink, followed by a bottle of water followed by dinner... I then had two more drinks (vodka and tonic) followed by more water... I had one more V&T and then stuck to water all night....
So let me tell you about dinner - The idea I had to over come the potential food issues was great - if i could I manage to get over feeling stupid and a freak for doing it... Prior to the party I had asked the host what would be on the buffet and I was told fried foods... Not good for my lifestyle. So I did something I have never done before - I took my own food with me. I picked up a pasta bowl.. having checked the label for its calories and fat I was satisfied this would be better than munching on a chicken nugget and a deep fried mars bars...
So the result was I just helped myself to salad from the buffet and added my own pasta.. I felt like a freak but I also felt proud of myself for making and choosing a healthy decision.
The morning after the night before whilst I would have normally tucked into a fry up, I chose a healthier option and continued making those choice through out the day. I managed to survive the weekend with some healthy choices and I am very proud of that.
Monday was the official start of PMT week - a potential to just eat and eat and eat crap!
I exercised a lot at the start of the week knowing by the time my period starts I wont be able to... I have eaten very healthy all week! But I have gain weight! This is a pisser but I am not freaking out by this because I know its to do with my pmt.... but grrrr - I've felt more of an urge to mame and kill then to eat - good for me not so so for others
I came across my first saboteur as well - I had heard of their existence but I met a real life one one in the guise of a family member... a size 8 skinny minnie who declared ' but I like you the way you are' ....my reply to that was' well I don't because its going to kill me'... she didn't say another word..
I don't know how a size 8 person could be intimidated by a size 22 person loosing weight - but I know that I am going to come across some saboteur's and I will just have to deal with them as and when I come across them...
I'm going for a walk/run/jog/ when get home and maybe do some yoga - but hell its been a tricky last seven days but I am so proud of myself for not eating the entire contents of my fridge!
Wednesday 14 January 2009
How did I get here....
Once upon lived a girl whose weight went of the scale, literally. When I was 24 I probably weighed about 24 stone! I wore a size 32 in clothes and for a little girl of only 5ft 1 - I was very big.
A mystery illness, which I never got to the bottom of was the push I needed to loose weight. It caused me to shed a stone and despite not feeling wonderful due to my mystery illness the loss of weight spurned me off to move my back side and loose some more. Over the course of 12 months I shed several stone/kgs/llbs what ever you like to call them. I ate healthily, I joined a gym and the result, almost a year a later, was me becoming a size 18.
Doctors and Nurses I have spoken to more recently say this probably saved my life - because if I hadn't lost that weight then today I would either dead or being fitted for gastric band.
However, getting to that size would have urged most people to carry on until they became a size eight - not me! It gave me false confidence that I was now normal! that I was a normal size and that if I could buy clothes in a normal shop then at last I was normal.
The feeling of normality was almost like license to eat. Old habits returned and soon enough I was a size 20 again and then a 22. For some reason I vowed never to be more than that and for the last 6 years now I have remained a size 22 - and whilst part of my head thought a size 22 was more acceptable then a 32 what I forgot was, that for me and my body, this its not a healthy weight to be at - not at 5ft 1.
I am not an eater who eats all the pies, I don't even eat sweets every day, of drink fizzy drinks I dont crave Mcdonalds or pizza or KFC but I do eat the wrong things at the wrong times. For example I would happily eat hunks of bread smeared with full fat cream cheese at 2am.....in fact my entire relationship with bread and cheese/dairy I think is for another post.
Last year my brothers wedding was a turning point, when the pictures came back, I was still so much fatter, so much bigger than everyone else. I refuse to watch the wedding video in all its glory because I know how fat I will look.
Feeling like this gave me to urge to at least,if I couldn't loose weight, to get fit. I took part in a couple of charity walks last summer and never felt better for getting the exercise. I decided to invest in a treadmill and although I wasn't loosing much weight I felt happier. I lost a few pounds although how many I do not know because to me at that time weighing scales where like garlic to a vampire!.
I was one of those fat people who believed that being fat was my destiny in life and that no matter how much I tried I would always be fat..albeit a slightly thinner fat person then I once was but still fat! And I kept telling myself that to justify why I was still obese.
Towards the end of last year I really felt like I was on the road to nowhere with my weight. I know that I have lost a good amount of weight and I should be proud of that but for a long time my weight had not moved and I wanted it to. I decided that my only option was to face my greatest fear! Medical help!
Like most fat people I avoided trips to my doctor. I have had horrible experiences with Doctors and Nurses throughout my childhood and adulthood to extent where I felt that they didn't want to help me - they wanted to put me down.
I had recently changed doctors and with a chest infection that made me sound like an 80 year old I went to see my new doctor. But I knew I wanted to talk to my doctor about more than just my horrible chest infection - I wanted to bite the bullet and do the one thing I had put off for so many years and that was to GET HELP with my weight. As this was before the food feast that it Christmas I declared to myself I was clearly mad *smiles*
Over the years I have watched former fatties I know loose weight in a manner of ways be it from going to slimming clubs to gastric bands to diet pills. I wanted to start with a calorie controlled diet. I was interested in how this could work for me because it wasnt a solution or answer for long term healthy eating but it could be a potential kick start to me loosing weight.
At my appointment, after having wheezed for the doctor I decided to bite the bullet and I asked for help with my weight. The Doctor was great andurged me to start a calorie controlled diet firstly and told me that if I could loose 2kgs in a month then they would agree to support me through my weight loss with regular check ups. This was about and a week half before Christmas and in all honestly i just was not sure that I would be able to loose that much. But I decided to try...I stopped the sneaky crisps, chocolate bars and hot chocolate drinks.
Two weeks later I was back at the Doctors to talk to the Nurse about giving up smoking and also about the possibility of checking me for type 2 diabetes. At the end of the session I asked out of curiosity for her to weigh me. She was more than happy to and there is was I was 2 kilos lighter... from 117kg to 115kgs in two weeks...
Four weeks into making changes to my diet that are healthy - even creating and cooking healthy meals for my self and now weighing at 111 kgs.
This is just the start!
A mystery illness, which I never got to the bottom of was the push I needed to loose weight. It caused me to shed a stone and despite not feeling wonderful due to my mystery illness the loss of weight spurned me off to move my back side and loose some more. Over the course of 12 months I shed several stone/kgs/llbs what ever you like to call them. I ate healthily, I joined a gym and the result, almost a year a later, was me becoming a size 18.
Doctors and Nurses I have spoken to more recently say this probably saved my life - because if I hadn't lost that weight then today I would either dead or being fitted for gastric band.
However, getting to that size would have urged most people to carry on until they became a size eight - not me! It gave me false confidence that I was now normal! that I was a normal size and that if I could buy clothes in a normal shop then at last I was normal.
The feeling of normality was almost like license to eat. Old habits returned and soon enough I was a size 20 again and then a 22. For some reason I vowed never to be more than that and for the last 6 years now I have remained a size 22 - and whilst part of my head thought a size 22 was more acceptable then a 32 what I forgot was, that for me and my body, this its not a healthy weight to be at - not at 5ft 1.
I am not an eater who eats all the pies, I don't even eat sweets every day, of drink fizzy drinks I dont crave Mcdonalds or pizza or KFC but I do eat the wrong things at the wrong times. For example I would happily eat hunks of bread smeared with full fat cream cheese at 2am.....in fact my entire relationship with bread and cheese/dairy I think is for another post.
Last year my brothers wedding was a turning point, when the pictures came back, I was still so much fatter, so much bigger than everyone else. I refuse to watch the wedding video in all its glory because I know how fat I will look.
Feeling like this gave me to urge to at least,if I couldn't loose weight, to get fit. I took part in a couple of charity walks last summer and never felt better for getting the exercise. I decided to invest in a treadmill and although I wasn't loosing much weight I felt happier. I lost a few pounds although how many I do not know because to me at that time weighing scales where like garlic to a vampire!.
I was one of those fat people who believed that being fat was my destiny in life and that no matter how much I tried I would always be fat..albeit a slightly thinner fat person then I once was but still fat! And I kept telling myself that to justify why I was still obese.
Towards the end of last year I really felt like I was on the road to nowhere with my weight. I know that I have lost a good amount of weight and I should be proud of that but for a long time my weight had not moved and I wanted it to. I decided that my only option was to face my greatest fear! Medical help!
Like most fat people I avoided trips to my doctor. I have had horrible experiences with Doctors and Nurses throughout my childhood and adulthood to extent where I felt that they didn't want to help me - they wanted to put me down.
I had recently changed doctors and with a chest infection that made me sound like an 80 year old I went to see my new doctor. But I knew I wanted to talk to my doctor about more than just my horrible chest infection - I wanted to bite the bullet and do the one thing I had put off for so many years and that was to GET HELP with my weight. As this was before the food feast that it Christmas I declared to myself I was clearly mad *smiles*
Over the years I have watched former fatties I know loose weight in a manner of ways be it from going to slimming clubs to gastric bands to diet pills. I wanted to start with a calorie controlled diet. I was interested in how this could work for me because it wasnt a solution or answer for long term healthy eating but it could be a potential kick start to me loosing weight.
At my appointment, after having wheezed for the doctor I decided to bite the bullet and I asked for help with my weight. The Doctor was great andurged me to start a calorie controlled diet firstly and told me that if I could loose 2kgs in a month then they would agree to support me through my weight loss with regular check ups. This was about and a week half before Christmas and in all honestly i just was not sure that I would be able to loose that much. But I decided to try...I stopped the sneaky crisps, chocolate bars and hot chocolate drinks.
Two weeks later I was back at the Doctors to talk to the Nurse about giving up smoking and also about the possibility of checking me for type 2 diabetes. At the end of the session I asked out of curiosity for her to weigh me. She was more than happy to and there is was I was 2 kilos lighter... from 117kg to 115kgs in two weeks...
Four weeks into making changes to my diet that are healthy - even creating and cooking healthy meals for my self and now weighing at 111 kgs.
This is just the start!
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