July

July has not been a good month, have felt tired and lazy and not really wanting to exercise. I have always tried to push through and have felt at it! i haven't seen the results i have wanted to see but i cannot say that i have not tried. i have exercised and i have been good with food but my body refuse to play ball. i know this is normal but it does infuriate me.

I am aiming for a better month in august. i am 7 weeks away from attending my second wedding of the year and i want to be at least a size 14 so i am going to be working very hard i think.

despite the negative i am seeing change physically rather than on the scales, seeing and accepting are two different things and i do struggle with them. i struggle to accept the good work i am doing daily,but i know i cannot beat my self up over it all. people are really starting to sit up and notice, that as they put it, i am half the woman i was. well i would like to be another half of what i am now lol

i think the physical acitivity is not only enjoyable ( i cant believe i wrote that line) but most importantly it has improved my mental health leaps and bounds. grumpy girl will never entirely leave the building but she is certainly not as grumpy as she was before. i enjoy it , i enjoy not being grumpy...i like to smile and i would like to smile more often.

i feed proud of myself when i complete my walks, my stamina and fitness levels are greatly improved so much so i have really started to jog more because walking simply isnt enough any more - yes ,my legs feel like they are about to be chopped off on occiasions but i feel stronger which is why i am frustrated at my lack of weightloss this month.


the weightloss journey is often a lonely one, a journey that many people give up because this and because it so hard physically and mentally. i do envy people, like contestants in the biggest looser who have ppl travelling through there journey with them, albeit they are competing but that aside the fact they can share their journey with someone who is going through the exact same experience as them... whether its on t.v or not to be able to share that experience is a wonderful thing.

unless you have been seriously obese i think is hard to understand how difficult this experience can be.