2010 so far

Its been a while since I updated my blog . I have had very little time. First things first I been extremely busy studying and preparing myself for my new career and life coaching and health and well being. Visit my website and check out what life coaching can do for you....

www.zahrashah.co.uk

I've also been learning to drive and going to the gym .. yes the gym, more on that later.

Weight

Weight loss to date -

Dec 2008 117kgs
July 2110 64kg

I have lost 53 kilos in total to date! :)

I'm now in the 64kilo zone... which has gone as low as 60 and then gone back up. My body is in the last phase so its really struggling to loose weight now its been pounded for so long. So i keep being inventive with food, and exercise.

I'm still using a BMR to calculate my minimum food intake - The BMR Calculator will calculate your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR); the number of calories you'd burn if you stayed in bed all day.

And as well as this, I'm making sure I am eating for my metabolic type....

You can check what yours below

http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

http://www.lowcarbnz.co.nz/Story/metabolic_type.htm

Doing this has been really useful to me over the last few months and i am eating far less processed foods and cooking and planning my meals very well.

Exercise

In January I decided to join the gym. training at home was fun but i needed to take the next step in relation to my fitness and really push myself. I signed up and quickly became a fan of legs, bums and tums class and spin class. However because my other commitments i had no chance to train one on one with a trainer . For me having the person there to push me works and in all honestly I missed that trainer/client relationship, both in my head and in my ability to push harder. I felt unfit, i felt that i could be fitter. In may I decided it was time to get someone to push me all the way through these last kilos and signed up for a PT package at my gym - I joined a gym I have to pass on my way home :) and I felt to utilize my time more effectively and train after work and before going home . This also allows me to be trained for 30 intense minutes once a week so I have more frequent contact with a PT . Which is really motivating. I have a new strength training schedule and I am building strength in my lower body and doing cardio at the same time with the spin class. Its fun and i am loving it esp the challenge. I am still running /walking/jogging on days when I don't go to the gym or coach people after work... another 5k is set for the 18th July with possibly another in September. I still maintain you have to move to loose weight but that you have make it as fun for you as possible too :)

Food diary

I am still keeping this, but not so much for use of counting calories - whilst I journal what i eat i am looking at the protein and carb in takes and making sure I meet my daily nutritional requirements.

http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/

This is the site I use to track my food and exercise intake and monitor my weight loss progress. Online food diaries are an excellent too, you can connect to them from your pc or i phone or ipod touch or blackberry which means you can always get access. There are also iphone/ipodtopuich food diary applications .. it makes it easy for you.....

this is my story... so far....

So I'm one year into this journey - its been an amazing year of healthy living, weight loss and happiness.

I want to compare how far I come to date...

November/Dec 2008
117kgs















Dec 2009
68.4kgs

I especially felt like I had achieved a serious mile stone when Ii was able to run a five k charity run in under 40 mins



















I've been making a couple of motivational videos which I have posted on here and also I recently did an interview with "healthy" the Holland and Barrett healthy lifestyle magazine. They liked my story so much they decided to put me in the magazine .... SCARY!!!!!

I also did a photo shoot with them for the story that was even scarier!

Here it is!!!!

Weightloss Motivation Tips

My new video!

weightloss motivation video

This is a weight loss motivation video I made for a lady on you tube who I have been following in her own inspiring weight loss journey.. but I thought I would post it here as well! It may be interesting to others and its also an important part of my own journey .

I hope to do some more soon :)

Run with the wild horses

"Wild Horses"

Hmmm woah yea...

I feel these 4 walls closing in
My face up against the glass
I'm looking out... hmm
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around
Is this the bed I chose to make
Its greener pastures I'm thinking about hmm
Wide open spaces far away

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared

[Chorus:]
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
Run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses!
Oh yeah yea

I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bare back, care free along the shore
If only that someone was me
Jumping head first headlong without a thought
To act and damn the consequence
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared
Hoohhh woah woah

[Chorus:]
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses!
Oh yeah yea

I wanna run too.
Hohhh woah oh woah oh

Breaklessly abandoning my self before you

I wanna open up my heart tell him how I feel

[Chorus:]
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses! [X2]
Hooaah woah oh woah
Yeah

I wanna run with the wild horses...

I have never thrown caution when it has come to relationships. My weight and the insecurities that it brought with it have led me to never feel beautiful or worthy of the male minded 'things' i tend to fall head over heels for which have sadly always ended with a bruised heart :( my size repressed me from ever getting what or who i wanted, either through the sheer physical look of me or my own inability to feel confident enough to express to someone how i truly felt - i felt ashamed of myself.

Because of my weight i feel i did not have the confidence to be honest about my feelings, scared to stand there a fat girl and get rejected - i dont think someone is arse if they do not get attracted to seriously obese people - i think body image is an important part of the package of a person when you are thinking about a relationship.

However, as well as this I did not have confidence in my body image but i was also highly suspiscous of those who where attracted to my size - i didnt want to be chubby chased :0..the idea of someone dating me purely because I was classified as BBW - made me want to throw up :( i am still replused by it. the whole idea of someone objectivifing me like this really did make me feel horrible.

I knew of other large girls who did not have this problem, where forth right with the male minded creatures, they got what they wanted. and all i got instead was tears of misery waking up alone on a saturday morning - well its just sad.

Activity wise there where not many things i didnt think i couldn't do weight wise and i did many things i am proud of but emotionally and relationship wise i was so restricted, so with drawn, so let down, so scared, that I never ran with the wild horses - there are so many 'hims' i have never told how i have felt about them to them and in many ways whilst now i look back and feel sad i can no longer continue to do this - the repression makes me feel sad and lonely and depressed, this used to make me want to eat - now i just want to be honest, i want to stop feeling so scared and so unhappy with the image - in my eyes has led me down one to many roads all leading to a bruise heart


But now i feel stronger i feel like am ready to thrown caution to the wind and definatly want keep trying to run with the wild horses and no hold my relationship emotions and be so repressed and restricted ever again...

Count down the next 25 kilos

76 -26/08/09
75 -08/09/09
74 -20/09/09
73 -04/10/09
72 -14/10/09
71 -25/10/09
70 -
69 -
68 -
67 -
66 -

65 -
64-
63-
62 -
61 -
60 - 30 june 2010
59 -
58 -
57 -

56
55
54
53
52

the end :)

July

July has not been a good month, have felt tired and lazy and not really wanting to exercise. I have always tried to push through and have felt at it! i haven't seen the results i have wanted to see but i cannot say that i have not tried. i have exercised and i have been good with food but my body refuse to play ball. i know this is normal but it does infuriate me.

I am aiming for a better month in august. i am 7 weeks away from attending my second wedding of the year and i want to be at least a size 14 so i am going to be working very hard i think.

despite the negative i am seeing change physically rather than on the scales, seeing and accepting are two different things and i do struggle with them. i struggle to accept the good work i am doing daily,but i know i cannot beat my self up over it all. people are really starting to sit up and notice, that as they put it, i am half the woman i was. well i would like to be another half of what i am now lol

i think the physical acitivity is not only enjoyable ( i cant believe i wrote that line) but most importantly it has improved my mental health leaps and bounds. grumpy girl will never entirely leave the building but she is certainly not as grumpy as she was before. i enjoy it , i enjoy not being grumpy...i like to smile and i would like to smile more often.

i feed proud of myself when i complete my walks, my stamina and fitness levels are greatly improved so much so i have really started to jog more because walking simply isnt enough any more - yes ,my legs feel like they are about to be chopped off on occiasions but i feel stronger which is why i am frustrated at my lack of weightloss this month.


the weightloss journey is often a lonely one, a journey that many people give up because this and because it so hard physically and mentally. i do envy people, like contestants in the biggest looser who have ppl travelling through there journey with them, albeit they are competing but that aside the fact they can share their journey with someone who is going through the exact same experience as them... whether its on t.v or not to be able to share that experience is a wonderful thing.

unless you have been seriously obese i think is hard to understand how difficult this experience can be.